Why ED Isn't Just About Your Body—And How to Fix It
I was in Florence. It was my third day. It was pouring. I didn’t care.
I walked around on cobblestones I had dreamed about every day in a daydream—places I had imagined spending time in, gelaterias I had researched while standing in line, walking along the Ponte Vecchio. I was in love with a romantic city. Even the odd sound of hydraulics in my building, which I timed to be every 22 seconds, didn’t bother me.
I returned to a trattoria to flirt with a triple-Sagittarius server and ate a bowlful of wild boar pasta. The city had a sweet hum to it, like it was singing to me.
I hadn’t been out of the country for over 20 years and was on my own Eat, Pray, Love journey.
Florence was where I decided to leave the U.S. and travel full-time. The triple-Sag cutie kept bringing tastings from the kitchen. Later, I went for gelato while he worked, walking in front of the Duomo with a deep sigh of, all is well.
That night, I invited him up for a sweet Italian fling. The language barrier was minor, and I was sure he did just fine with solo female tourists—especially the Americans.
And that’s when I had my first Italian disappointment. Not the rain, not the 22-second screeching hydraulics, but another kind of disappointment.
Sigh. No Italian fling for me.
Bless his heart, he was despondent.
Maybe even more disappointing was when he got out of bed and started getting dressed. Both of my hands went up—one eyebrow raised—and I pointed at my naked body.
"I’m right here."
He didn’t get it. I gave him the wrong WhatsApp number, and he left.
Erectile dysfunction has a million causes, physical, emotional, even spiritual. You’ll be surprised to hear what it is, and what it is not.
When a new client reaches out to me, 75% have to do with wanting to fix something about their performance.
First, we rule out health issues.
Cardiovascular Conditions
Atherosclerosis (hardening of the arteries): Reduces blood flow to the penis.
High blood pressure (hypertension): Can damage blood vessels and restrict blood flow.
High cholesterol: Contributes to arterial blockages.
Heart disease: Compromises overall circulation and blood flow.
Endocrine and Hormonal Disorders
Diabetes: Damages nerves and blood vessels essential for erections.
Low testosterone (hypogonadism): Reduces libido and affects erection quality.
Thyroid disorders: Both hyperthyroidism and hypothyroidism can interfere with sexual function.
Metabolic syndrome: A cluster of conditions (high blood pressure, high blood sugar, obesity, etc.) linked to ED.
Neurological Disorders
Parkinson's disease: Affects nerve function, leading to ED.
Multiple sclerosis (MS): Can impair nerve signals between the brain and the penis.
Stroke: Damages parts of the brain involved in sexual response.
Spinal cord injuries: Disrupt nerve pathways critical to erections.
Chronic Illnesses
Kidney disease: Reduces overall health and circulation, impacting sexual function.
Liver disease: Causes hormonal imbalances and fatigue that can affect libido and erections.
Pelvic and Prostate Issues
Prostate cancer or treatment (surgery/radiation): Can damage nerves and blood vessels.
Pelvic trauma: Injuries to the pelvic region can impair blood flow and nerve function.
Peyronie's disease: Scar tissue in the penis can cause painful erections and ED.
Medications and Substance Use
Antidepressants (SSRIs, SNRIs): Often associated with reduced libido and ED.
Blood pressure medications: Beta-blockers, statins, and diuretics can affect erections.
Recreational drugs: Alcohol, nicotine, cocaine, and other drugs can impair sexual performance.
Chronic use of painkillers or opioids: Can reduce testosterone levels and affect sexual function.
Lifestyle Factors
Obesity: Linked to hormonal imbalances and reduced blood flow.
Sedentary lifestyle: Poor circulation and cardiovascular health can lead to ED.
Poor diet: Low nutrient intake can impair vascular and hormonal health.
Second, we look for the beliefs that are not true.
ED has nothing to do with age.
I have a client who is in his 80’s with a now happy healthy sex life having intercourse 3-4 times a week. I have clients of all ages that previously believed, ‘ to be over 40 was to suffer’ with ED.
After working with me they know what to do. Here’s a hint… that has NOTHING to do with taking pills.
I have clients who threw away their blue pills, never refilling the prescription.
I have clients who pathologized themselves- there must be something wrong- who are now in happy healthy relationships with happy sex lives.
Third, we look at the beliefs around Performance. What aspects are “blocking the flow”
1. Performance Anxiety
Heightened Pressure: A beautiful partner may unconsciously trigger feelings of pressure to perform well or "live up" to perceived expectations, leading to stress and difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection.
Fear of Judgement: Worrying about being judged or not being "good enough" can create a mental block that interferes with arousal and physical response.
Lack of Experience: Many men don’t feel comfortable in their experience, are concerned about not lasting long enough or about providing pleasure.
2. Self-Esteem Issues
Feelings of Inadequacy: Men may feel intimidated or question their worthiness of being with someone they perceive as exceptionally attractive. This insecurity can negatively affect confidence and performance.
Body Image Concerns: Comparing oneself to societal ideals or even past partners may add to feelings of inadequacy.
3. Overstimulation
Adrenaline and Nerves: Intense attraction can cause a surge of adrenaline, which may sometimes interfere with the physiological processes needed for an erection.
Overthinking: The excitement of being with someone perceived as very beautiful can lead to overthinking instead of staying present in the moment, disrupting the body's natural sexual response.
4. Unrealistic Expectations from Porn or Media
Comparison to Fantasy: If a man is used to consuming pornography or media that portrays flawless, scripted sexual encounters, he may feel that his own experience with a beautiful partner should mirror those unrealistic scenarios.
5. The "Halo Effect"
Pedestal Effect: When someone is perceived as beautiful, they may be idealized, creating pressure to please or meet imagined standards, leading to nervousness.
Fourth, I’ll guide you into the transformative world of breath, energy, and movement—where your sexuality, confidence, creativity, and life’s vitality all intersect. We’ll explore how these elements are not isolated parts of you but are deeply interwoven into a tapestry that shapes your experiences and relationships.
Breath is the foundation of it all. Most people underestimate the power of their breath, relegating it to something unconscious and mechanical. But what if your breath could become a tool for transformation? I’ll teach you how to use breath not just to calm your nervous system but to access deeper reservoirs of energy, pleasure, and awareness.
Together, we’ll work on techniques that expand your capacity to feel, connect, and express yourself authentically. Imagine being able to take a simple inhale and feel it ripple through your body, energizing and grounding you simultaneously. That’s the power of intentional breathing—it’s subtle yet profound.
From there, we move into energy. This isn’t about abstract concepts; it’s about feeling the life force within you and learning how to direct it. Many people live with stagnant energy, weighed down by stress, unresolved emotions, or habitual patterns that no longer serve them. I’ll help you identify these blocks and teach you how to release them.
This isn’t something theoretical—you’ll feel the shift in your body, in your posture, and in your sense of vitality.
Weaving is the art of integration—of taking all the separate threads of your life (your sexuality, your breath, your creativity, your confidence) and intertwining them into a harmonious whole. It’s about creating a sense of flow and alignment, where every part of you is working together rather than in opposition. This process isn’t about adding more to your life; it’s about clearing away what doesn’t serve you so that you can fully inhabit the life you’re already living.
When you come for a massage in Athens and around me, your ED no longer exists. How is that possible?
This is where you learn how to bring that healing back home.
Often, this work reveals entirely new ways of being that you may never have considered before.
For example, there are likely new ways to touch your own body—or to receive touch from a partner—that you haven’t explored. Touch isn’t just physical; it’s an energetic exchange.
When you approach it with intention and awareness, touch becomes a language—a way of communicating presence, desire, and connection. I’ll show you how to refine this language, whether it’s through subtle gestures, conscious self-touch, or intimate exchanges with a partner.
Similarly, there are new ways of moving your body that can unlock your creativity and confidence. Movement isn’t just about exercise or fitness; it’s a form of self-expression and a way to connect with your inner self. Perhaps you’ve been holding tension in your body without realizing it, or maybe you’ve been moving in habitual patterns that don’t reflect the person you’re becoming. Together, we’ll explore movements that feel liberating, sensual, and empowering—movements that allow you to inhabit your body fully and unapologetically.
This process is deeply personal. It’s not about following a script or replicating someone else’s journey. It’s about discovering what works for you. Your sexuality, breath, energy, and creativity are uniquely yours, and the process of weaving them together will look different for everyone. That’s the beauty of this work—it’s entirely customized to your needs, desires, and goals.
One of the most surprising aspects of this journey is how much it impacts every area of your life. When you learn to weave these elements together, you’ll notice shifts in how you show up in the world.
You might find yourself speaking with more confidence, connecting with others on a deeper level, or pursuing creative projects that once felt out of reach. This isn’t just about personal transformation; it’s about creating a ripple effect that touches your relationships, career, and overall sense of purpose.
And let’s not forget the joy and playfulness that come with this work. So often, personal growth is framed as something serious or even burdensome. But what if transformation could be fun? What if you could rediscover the sense of wonder and curiosity you had as a child? That’s what happens when you start exploring new ways of touching, breathing, moving, and connecting. You tap into a wellspring of joy that’s been there all along, just waiting for you to access it.
This work also has a way of deepening your relationship with yourself. Many people go through life disconnected from their own bodies, viewing them as tools to be used rather than sacred vessels to be honored. By learning to move energy and integrate breath, you begin to see your body as an ally—a partner in your journey rather than an obstacle. This shift in perspective is incredibly empowering, allowing you to reclaim parts of yourself that may have been neglected or overlooked.
Finally, this process is about integration. It’s not about compartmentalizing your sexuality, confidence, and creativity into separate boxes. It’s about understanding how these aspects of yourself are interconnected and learning how to navigate them with intention and grace. This integration is what allows you to show up as your whole self, whether you’re in the boardroom, the bedroom, or anywhere in between.
If you’ve ever felt like there’s something missing in your life—like you’re living at half capacity or holding yourself back—this work will show you what’s possible when you embrace your full potential. It’s not about becoming someone else; it’s about becoming more you.
This is the art of weaving—of taking the threads of your life and creating something beautiful, meaningful, and entirely unique. It’s a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and transformation. And it starts with a single breath.
